this is a cached version of www.misanthropia.net by Joakim Back
misanthropia

misanthropia
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ever_secluded

ever secluded
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infestation_ii

infestation
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dereliction

dereliction
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frozen_emotions

frozen emotions
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frustration

frustration
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suicide

suicide
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the_cycle_of_death

the cycle of death
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forsaken

forsaken
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description:
first of all, i am not the creator of the wallpapers above
vuni.net is just a mirror of some vanished websites.


images and music:
misanthropia.net by Joakim Back


a public letter from Joakim Back:
28 April 2007

I've had the intention of writing to you all for a long time, but I
wasn't sure what to write. It is very humbling for me to have people who
I have never met still sharing Misanthropia so long after I quit keeping
the site up.

I quit because my interest were lacking, I've always had plenty of ideas
and things to work with. I figured Misanthropia had reached its end and
it deserved closure instead of life support. You might disagree, but I
needed to move on, otherwise I'd just feel guilty for not updating it.

I've always liked the separation of me and the gallery, for a number of
reasons. The primary one is letting the imagery speak for itself, and
allow personal interpretation. Secondary, I did not want to be too
closely tied to it, since like all people, I have many facets depending
on my mood and current interest.

However, it's been a very long time and I figure you deserve to know
more about it. Besides, it makes a good story!

About five or six years ago, I was admitted to a masters degree program
in electronics engineering. My grades weren't sufficient that year to
take computer science, and since I had enjoyed the classes I've had in
electronics before, I thought it could work out.

It didn't, I failed miserably due to lack of interest and motivation,
and suddenly found myself lost without a plan. Also, I was not eligible
to apply for any further funding to study something else until I had
passed enough courses. By the end of the year, I had still passed close
to none, - The second semester I had barely bothered to attend at all!

There was little left to give in me, so I took a year off living of my
savings.. spending oceans of time with three great interests throughout
my life; visuals, audio and programming. Parts of these two years are
the period in which Misanthropia was made.

I would count these as a embarrassing, dark and wasted years of my life
if it weren't a couple of things, - I learned a lot that I incidentally
can put to use in my daily work and there's people like you who still
enjoy what I created.

I still get asked for permission to put the images to use, for CD's,
book covers, etc. It brightens my day, and I like the idea that I have
somehow brighten yours as well.

I've spent on average 3-4 hours per image, which amounts to a great deal
of time. I'm not patient enough to make a good photographer, instead the
vast majority of time has been spent manipulating and enhancing them. I
would work as an optician, "better or worse"? Layers stacked on layers.

The photos were all taken close to where I used to live, in the south of
Sweden. I've grown up spoiled with beautiful scenery.

I'm sure people have created their own interpretation of the gallery and
perhaps individual images, and that's how it's supposed to be. It's
difficult to put emotions into words without sounding lame but I will go
ahead and share my own: The closest thing I have come to sum up the
entire gallery is "Darkness with beauty and sources of light". Things
may be bleak, disturbed or tiring.. but depending on how you deal with
it, it can fuel humility, a social conscience, appreciation for things
you've taken for granted and force you to deal with issues you've needed
to solve. There might be people not giving up on your tired self, even
though you argue you'd like to be alone. Things you like to do and
things that you appreciate.

After these years, I chose to pursue a bachelors degree in computer
science, and programming in particular. My tendency to think too much
becomes an asset in problem-solving, and my creativity helps figuring
out solutions. Ironically, since thinking too much often create problems
elsewhere. I did consider dedicating more of my time and energy on art
of some kind, but I don't think I could endure being dependent on it.

I wish I had something cool to show you, things I have been working on
since, but I'm still learning new exciting things which leaves most
projects unfinished and abandoned before completion. I will never quit
working with art and music, but periodically I put some areas to rest
while focusing on other things.

Although I find the old music can be a real strain on my ears, I
sometimes daydream of some day releasing an album with new music. If
that happens, I'll be sure to tag the site with misanthropia, so that
google will index it. (So no, that album at last.fm is not mine, and
hellcrown is not a band!)

If you'd like to reply, or just throw random thoughts at me you can
reach me at that.misanthropia.guy@gmail.com

I'll turn it into an msn as well, I find it's a more relaxed method of
communication.

Well, I hope you found at least parts of this letter interesting.

Best regards and best wishes,

Joakim Back

PS.
I'm sorry I have been rather lousy at replying to mail, during the
Misanthropia years in particular. I have read all and taken them to
heart though. I'm only human, after all.




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